I am a huge fan of Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now and A New Earth, both powerful, life changing books. I cannot comment on how they may change your life because it would be absurd of me to think that I had so much power, but I can tell you that these two books have lead me to question the meaning of Children's Rights and the meaning of my own life.
It is common knowledge that children have the right to shelter, to protection, to food, to education, to be loved, and many would add--to be a child. I asked around a bit to see what that meant to people. "You know, to have fun, to be carefree, to enjoy life." The wistful look on this person's face made me ask the question, "And you miss that?" So many adults nowadays miss that freedom as they fill up their time with have to's and should have's. But well, today we are discussing children's right to enjoy life. A right which I believe to have become misshappen as the proverbial pendulum swings.
Echkart Tolle reminds us that true freedom comes from accepting the Now and revelling in the knowledge that every decision, if made by trusting your heart's passion, will lead you on your path to abundance of every kind. It is difficult for us to model this to children. Have you ever taken a moment to really observe a child. Observe without judgment. Try it, and you will be amazed that children already know how to do this. They have no care for time, for restrictions, for social beliefs. Yet they are curious, always wanting to discover more. They are natural communicators, using motion, facial expression, body language and the other 100 languages described by Loris Malaguzzi. They paint, metaphorically, a beautiful picture of joy, peace, and balance when left to themselves.
And then comes the adult, "Stop lieing in the dirt." "You're not supposed to paint on the walls!" "Don't eat the worm! Dirty!" And for each block, the child's natural joy turns from transluscent to opaque.
Where is the right to maintain this wonderful outlook on life, the outlook that so many of us wish to recapture? I can feel the resistence as many of you read this. You may be thinking that you have observed many children and they definitely are meek, dependent, troublesome, and generally out of balance. My suggestion is that perhaps we, the adults, are meek, dependent, and out of balance. Perhaps if we could see clearly and release the fear that keeps us in the dead end job, in the damaging relationship, or in debt, our persepctive too might change. Four years ago, I suffered a break down (more like a melt down) which slammed me into a big wall of awake. That wall had a fuzzy message that came more into focus as each day passed. It took almost three years to see the message written on the wall.
We all have the right to be at peace, to be joyful, and to experience love.
We truly are the models for the children, and each and every model provides growth, but I ask you to consider whether we truly need to educate children, or would it suffice to continue educating ourselves. I do not believe that the children are our future. It sounds cowardly. We are the future. Until we die, we make the difference. Within each of us is a seed, or many seeds, that are just waiting to be planted. I believe that the adults are paving the way for the young. Parents, educators, grandparents, aunts and uncles are a beacon lighting the way for the next generation.
Children have the right to be heard with respect.
Children have the right to observe and learn from excellent models.
Children have the right to be exposed to the extremes so that they may find their own balance. Children have the right to spiritual, emotional, and physical intelligence.
Children have the right to feel love, peace, and security.
Please tell me what children have the right to from your perspective and what that right provides. The information compiled will be used for a book I am currently working on.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Finding Meaning in the word "Childhood."
After 10 months, I am back on line. Thank you to all the people who have been asking me to share my thoughts more widely!
I am truly blessed to have two children who are my constant reflection, day in and day out. I speak of children beacuse it my profession, the thing I feel most passionate about, but in the end, any person standing before you who makes an impact on your life (everyone) is a mirror. In the recent past, I have come to accept that my daughter is my personality reflection, where my son is my soul's reflection. I say "recently" because my mirror was tarnished beyond recognition for many years and only recently were the cleaning products I needed placed within my reach. And so I begin a journey outward questioning what childhood is really for.
As children we are the whim of our parents. We adopt the belief system of our parents which is normally dictated by their parents and the society of their time. No matter when you grew up, your thought patterns became those of the adults around you. Is that truly the purpose of parenting? Is the job a of a child to come here and be filled like the empty vessel theory? I am not suggesting that every adult is a horrible parent. Information is what powers change and transcendence. Every generation of parents had at their disposal different information for different reasons. Like a pendulum, our assimilation of this information goes from extreme to extreme until it eventually reaches a balance. Sexuality is an easy example to perceive. The revolution of the 70's swung the pendulum way over to the right, liberal sided wing of sexuality, then with the coming of HIV, whoosh! out came the contraceptives and the labels once again. As we go back in history we see the same pattern of promiscuity then repression repeated over and over.
So, what does this have to do with children, you ask? This pendulum movement happens in every area of the human psyche including parenting. The empty vessel and blank slate theories gave way to traditional, I-am-the-adult-and-I-know-best-what-you-need-to-learn mentality. The socio constructivist theory developed by Loris Malaguzzi in Reggio Emilia, Italy and the Waldorf schools founded by Rudolf Steiner, both after World War II took a different approach to the concpet of childhood. In short, both philosophies see the child as a thinking, exploring human being filled with the light of curiosity. Through the use of nature, its colors, textures, ambiance, etc. children are encouraged to define the world around them. And what they see leaves us breathless! So the pendulum swings.
And now to arrive at my point. The beauty of childhood captured by Loris Malaguzzi, I believe, is still not fully developed nor understood by the society at large. We are one step closer, maybe 100 steps closer, but until we recognize that there is no "right" answer. There is no final point to arrive at when we speak of education. There is not a moment when we close the book. This implies something profound for all of us. We must learn forever. Once we leave school, we get a job where we continue to learn (hopefully). Many of us choose to begin a family. Those of you with children, can you truly say that you have learned nothing from them? If you can, I invite you clean off your mirror and see yourself clearly. Continue to learn and grow with children as your teachers.
I believe that our Earth age has little if nothing to do with who we are. I believe that we are all here to continue learning and developing. So the next time you see a child, any child, treat him with respect and accept him as he is. For me, childhood is an erroneous decription. It's very meaning condescends due to cultural beliefs that older is wiser and younger is ,well, not. I invite you to consider for a moment that each of us posseses a soul. I believe that the soul is the replication of God, the Universe, Buddha, etc. and that each of us is holy. I would protect a child as I would protect my husband or friend. I hold in my heart the belief that we are entering the era of humanhood, where we all mutually repect and learn from others--where there are no strangers, only fellow beings. As we learn, as the pendulum swings, we peel away that which no longer serves us. Beliefs drop away, like skin with a rug burn, it hurts and leaves us feeling unsteady, but that, my friends, is the basis of learning and growing. More and more children are having the opportunity to stay in the now longer. They leave the now when the adults around them make being in the now, wrong. "Why can't you move faster?" "I told you to brush your teeth!" Remember that every belief we pass on to our children is only that--a belief, not an absolute truth. So, have you appreciated a child today?
So what do you think childhood is really for? Any thoughts...
I am truly blessed to have two children who are my constant reflection, day in and day out. I speak of children beacuse it my profession, the thing I feel most passionate about, but in the end, any person standing before you who makes an impact on your life (everyone) is a mirror. In the recent past, I have come to accept that my daughter is my personality reflection, where my son is my soul's reflection. I say "recently" because my mirror was tarnished beyond recognition for many years and only recently were the cleaning products I needed placed within my reach. And so I begin a journey outward questioning what childhood is really for.
As children we are the whim of our parents. We adopt the belief system of our parents which is normally dictated by their parents and the society of their time. No matter when you grew up, your thought patterns became those of the adults around you. Is that truly the purpose of parenting? Is the job a of a child to come here and be filled like the empty vessel theory? I am not suggesting that every adult is a horrible parent. Information is what powers change and transcendence. Every generation of parents had at their disposal different information for different reasons. Like a pendulum, our assimilation of this information goes from extreme to extreme until it eventually reaches a balance. Sexuality is an easy example to perceive. The revolution of the 70's swung the pendulum way over to the right, liberal sided wing of sexuality, then with the coming of HIV, whoosh! out came the contraceptives and the labels once again. As we go back in history we see the same pattern of promiscuity then repression repeated over and over.
So, what does this have to do with children, you ask? This pendulum movement happens in every area of the human psyche including parenting. The empty vessel and blank slate theories gave way to traditional, I-am-the-adult-and-I-know-best-what-you-need-to-learn mentality. The socio constructivist theory developed by Loris Malaguzzi in Reggio Emilia, Italy and the Waldorf schools founded by Rudolf Steiner, both after World War II took a different approach to the concpet of childhood. In short, both philosophies see the child as a thinking, exploring human being filled with the light of curiosity. Through the use of nature, its colors, textures, ambiance, etc. children are encouraged to define the world around them. And what they see leaves us breathless! So the pendulum swings.
And now to arrive at my point. The beauty of childhood captured by Loris Malaguzzi, I believe, is still not fully developed nor understood by the society at large. We are one step closer, maybe 100 steps closer, but until we recognize that there is no "right" answer. There is no final point to arrive at when we speak of education. There is not a moment when we close the book. This implies something profound for all of us. We must learn forever. Once we leave school, we get a job where we continue to learn (hopefully). Many of us choose to begin a family. Those of you with children, can you truly say that you have learned nothing from them? If you can, I invite you clean off your mirror and see yourself clearly. Continue to learn and grow with children as your teachers.
I believe that our Earth age has little if nothing to do with who we are. I believe that we are all here to continue learning and developing. So the next time you see a child, any child, treat him with respect and accept him as he is. For me, childhood is an erroneous decription. It's very meaning condescends due to cultural beliefs that older is wiser and younger is ,well, not. I invite you to consider for a moment that each of us posseses a soul. I believe that the soul is the replication of God, the Universe, Buddha, etc. and that each of us is holy. I would protect a child as I would protect my husband or friend. I hold in my heart the belief that we are entering the era of humanhood, where we all mutually repect and learn from others--where there are no strangers, only fellow beings. As we learn, as the pendulum swings, we peel away that which no longer serves us. Beliefs drop away, like skin with a rug burn, it hurts and leaves us feeling unsteady, but that, my friends, is the basis of learning and growing. More and more children are having the opportunity to stay in the now longer. They leave the now when the adults around them make being in the now, wrong. "Why can't you move faster?" "I told you to brush your teeth!" Remember that every belief we pass on to our children is only that--a belief, not an absolute truth. So, have you appreciated a child today?
So what do you think childhood is really for? Any thoughts...
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