The 10 Commandments of a Loving Parent/Guide

1. I shall do as I would like for you to do.

Every word and action coupled with the tone of voice or facial expression used to deliver them performed within hearing or seeing range of a child, any child, has an effect.

2. I shall provide what is necessary for physical, emotional, and spiritual growth.

Not every child needs the same things. Sometimes the most difficult moments are the ones that show us our path. Be certain that you are exactly who your child needs you to be for him/her to continue growing.

3. I shall pay tribute to all I learn from you.

Remembering that we are all learners from the moment we are conscious to the moment we lose consciousness helps us see our children as teachers. Every day, find at least one moment with your child and give thanks for the beauty of the words, actions, or affection he/she has shown you.

4. I shall celebrate every process that leads you to each failure or success.

Winning is truly understood when effort is glorified. Helping a child see that failure takes him/her one step closer to success is just as important as celebrating every miniscule step forward in a loud, booming "Hurray!"

5. I shall recognize that a child is never too young to learn.

Choose books, television shows, cartoons, music, and movies with care for they are all your child's teachers as well. Pay attention to every question, every comment your child makes. Being aware of what your child says and does, helps you guide in the moment of learning instead of lamenting in the moment of despair.

6. I shall recognize that a parent is never too old to learn.

Many a wise teacher has said that every parent in every moment does the very best he/she can do with information gathered up to the moment of that decision. Let this be your shield but not your excuse. Take out your sword and continue to gather information, always working to be the best parent you can be.

7. I shall be my child's champion.

Speak only kind, uplifting words about your child. Send those beautiful thoughts out into the world. Hold the image of love and support close to your heart especially in the most trying, devastating moments of child-guiding.

8. I shall humbly respect that my way is not the only way.

Remember that we are guiding individuals, not clones of ourselves. Allowing a child to experience differing points of view and respecting his/her final decision, foments a sense of pride, ownership, and all-around self-confidence.

9. I shall own my mistakes.

Reflecting back on our own personal failures is a gift to humanity. Despairing over what "should have been done" cannot change what was done. Blaming other people or other things for the circumstances we find ourselves in only keeps us locked in the circle of non-growth.

10. I shall be open to receive help when I no longer see my options.

Being a parent requires the courage and tenacity to see the problem, understand the problem, and open to a solution, even when the solution hurts. Not every path is easy and not every decision brings joy, but when the path is filled with purpose and the decisions taken with love, true growth and enlightenment occur.


All life is a treasure. The title of this refers to parents, but in reality, it applies to every adult who has contact with any child at any moment. Being the best you can in every moment for every child can have a profound affect!

To Enjoy and Celebrate

A wise, beautiful lady once told me that celebrating even the most mundane or seemingly insignificant moment brings joy. It is not as easy as it sounds. Feeling awe in the majesty of the mountains, in the turquoise water of the rolling stream after the hurricane, in the colors of nature, uplifts and fulfills me, but feeling that awe for my own growth had long eluded me. And so, as always, I read books. The more I read, the more I experienced, and the more I understood.

When I find meaning in a concept and make it my own in my personal set of "ethics," my first instinct is to share it with children. How could I help a child to celebrate every moment of every day as a personal triumph on the path of life? The answer was so simple that it laughed out of the eyes of the toddlers exploring the playground. They marveled at how the sand ran down the slide, how the dog stopped to pee on everything in its way, and how the the wheels on the tricycle kept going around even when it was upside-down in the grass. One little boy, on all fours, was sniffing merrily around the swings following the tiny Teacup Chihuahua. The snail crawling up the wall was ogled by every child within hearing distance of the cries of joy at finding such a treasure. And when the pigtailed redhead approached me with her curious eyes, her trusting hand touching my knee, she held out a plain, grey, jagged rock. In my eyes, it was just like any other rock in the playground, nothing special, until her eyes met mine and she said, "Se siente como la barba de mi papá." It feels like my Dad´s beard. What could I possibly teach this wide-eyed child?

My mind racing, I took the rock in my hand and I replied to her expectant gaze,"Esta piedra huele como la cueva donde visité a los murciélogos." This rock smells like the cave I visited that was filled with bats. She held my gaze for only a moment, taking in my words, then collected her rock from my palm and walked away. As I followed her movements, I was delighted to see her raise the rock up to her nose and sniff. I was reminded of how precious it is to respect the curiosity of children and to continue to learn from it.

I have since begun to celebrate each small triumph which has lead me to understand that joy exists when we live in the moment. I do this for my own joy, but equally important, I do this to model the celebration of life to the children around me. And when I forget to celebrate, I look only into the eyes of a small child, eyes not yet darkened by cynicism, and I am alive.

Teaching is not a synonym for correcting. It is a synonym for modeling, celebrating, and guiding. We are all teachers. We are all here to learn from one another. Celebrate yourself, your triumphs, and your failures, and you will, perhaps unknowingly, become a hero in the eyes of a child.